by Dr. Paul Han
As the world changes in the midst of this coronavirus epidemic, I don’t have much time for anything else other than work. As a lung doctor, I have been overwhelmed by these cases. Not just physically and mentally, but also emotionally. Everyone can tell you stories about people who have died, and loved ones who have been sick, and those who have survived that have been wounded by this disease in so many different ways. Our elderly, our young, our wealthy and poor, and many people in the prime of their lives have succumbed to this disease. .
Initially, the difficult part of this disease was how quickly it appeared. We were unprepared as a community. In some cases, our leadership failed us: the CDC made mistakes in testing. Guidance regarding masks (which is an obvious way to decrease infections, mostly to decrease risk of contagion) came so late both in and out of the hospital. Treatments have not been tested, and we still are unsure which medications to use.
In my practice, I have had so many of my close patients, and even family members who became sick with Covid-19. As a doctor, this is one of the most difficult moments: Knowing that you are responsible for someone else’s health and yet feeling or knowing that you are powerless. What do you do when you are given that responsibility? You try to get information. You try to understand the problem better. You look for answers. And you pray, just like everyone else.
The one gratifying part of this epidemic has been the way that our community has come together. Among the physician networks that I belong to, we have been constantly discussing what each group has tried, what different hospitals, and what approaches are working or not working. The critical care physicians in Bergen County created a network on Slack to share their experience managing respiratory failure. Many of the Korean physicians in the area collaborated to form a group called Korean Doctors Against COVID-19, to see how we could work together to help the Korean community in the New York area. I have been so grateful for their moral support, and leadership.
I actually have been so thankful to that physician in Marseilles who wrote the first article about his experience using hydroxychloroquine. Just before that report, one of my long-time patients died of Covid-19: an older gentleman, in the truest sense who always cheered me up with his friendly demeanor. I lost my voice when I spoke to his wife, and I cried after work on the night that he died. A week later, my sister-in-law developed pneumonia due to Covid-19. I prescribed hydroxychloroquine to her. Miraculously, the medication seemed to work. Whether this treatment will later prove to be the treatment of choice, is still unclear, though I am thankful that it seems to have worked in her case, and at least provided us with hope for a cure.
I am also so thankful to the people in the community that have provided us with support in so many different ways. Thank you to the dentists who provided us with masks and face-shields. Thank you to the caterers who raised money to give us lunch. Thank you to the women who have sewn together masks. And even to those random strangers that I see in the hallways or speak to on the phone, who want to thank me for doing this job, because that’s what we came into medicine for. That gratitude is actually the best part of being a doctor. And just knowing that you are behind us, helps me keep going when I want to give up.
While we wait for the development of a vaccine, this disease will continue to persist in pockets throughout the world. Besides testing for active infection, I believe that the next step will be for everyone to get tested to see if they may have already had the infection and are immune. Knowing your immune status will be important to know in terms of how you live your life and how to treat you next time you get sick.
I hope that by the time you read this, the pandemic is under control. If not, I hope we are well on our way to finding a cure. For now, I am grateful for everything that we have in our lives. Please stay safe. That’s what everyone says these days. Stay safe, because sometimes just surviving is succeeding.
Paul Han, MD, FCCP
Pulmonary Specialists of North Jersey
Sethuraman, Nandini; Jeremiah, Sundararaj Stanleyraj.
Interpreting Diagnostic Tests for SARS-CoV-2. JAMA:
May 6, 2020.
